Chapter Two
Maybe Sinead was picking up on Fionas frustration, I thought as I prepared to set off for Caroline Mulhollands house half an hour later. Maybe she was even trying to have a baby for her, who knows. I mean, dogs do imitate us, because they love us they want to do all the things that we do. We sit - they sit. We sing - they howl. We vacate the drivers seat - they jump right in. We get broody - maybe they get broody
? Thats the thing about being a behaviourist: you have to work out whats going on with the owners before you can begin to sort out their pet. I checked my appearance in the mirror, retouched the concealer below my eye - I need less now - then ran a brush through my hair and left. Daisy was right about the Mews being friendly I realised, as Susie, the osteopath, gave me a cheery wave. Caroline Mulholland lived in a village called Little Gateley, five miles from St. Albans; I guessed it would take an hour and a quarter if the traffic wasnt too bad.
As I drove through Archway I passed Alexanders road, heart pounding like a tom-tom, my mouth as dry as dust. Masochistically, I glanced down Harberton Road for the first time since it happened and felt a wave of distress. But, once Id got through the queues in Finchley and Barnet, I was soon coasting down lush country lanes; and as I wound down the window and saw the intense yellow of the rape and the fields of green corn I relaxed - Daisy was right. This was a turning point; the start of a new phase in my life and I was determined to make it work out. Fifteen minutes later I came to St. Albans where I soon spotted the village sign. I passed the green with its horse chestnuts, laden with waxy pink candles, then just beyond the church I saw gates. Little Gateley Manor was carved on one of the pillars. I signalled right and turned in.
The house was just as I expected straight out of Country Life. Georgian, painted white, and with a circular drive, sweeping up to an imposing, wisteria-smothered front door. As my wheels crunched over the gravel, I heard a deep throaty barking, saw a silver flash, and the Weimaramer came bounding up. Then a woman appeared, running after it, visibly flustered.
Oh Trigger! You naughty boy! Come here! Hello, Im Caroline, she said slightly breathlessly as I got out of the car, and the dog jumped up at me. Im so grateful to you for coming out. Im normally circumspect when I meet someone new, but I immediately took to her. She was thirtyish, with dark blonde hair scraped back in a ponytail, and she was attractive in a non-glossy way.
Im so grateful to you, she repeated. As we went up the steps I inhaled the scent of the wisteria. Ive been at my wits end. You see we adore Trigger but hes such a handful, and in particular hes horrid to my two Westies - Tavish and Jock. I looked at them, scuttling round her feet in the black and white marble-tiled hallway, casting anxious looks at the bigger dog.
And they were here first, were they?
Yes. I had them before I got married last year. But then my husband decided that hed like a proper mans dog she giggled and so I got him Trigger for his birthday, but sometimes I think I made a mistake.
Hes certainly beautiful I said as I followed her into the large drawing room. Theyre such individual looking dogs arent they? I gazed at his coat, the colour of pale pewter and at his unearthly, intense, amber eyes.
Oh yes, she agreed. Theyre gorgeous-looking things.
But theyre also strong-willed and need firm control. Caroline laughed.
Well thats precisely where weve slipped up. She sank into one of the sofas and Trigger tried to clamber onto her lap. Stop it you naughty dog! Get down! Get down will you! One of the Westies then jumped up at her, and Trigger snapped at it viciously. She smacked his behind. Oh do stop it you bad, bad boy! Do you see what I mean? she sighed. I wasnt exaggerating was I? Its hopeless. Anyway, lets have a cup of tea first.
As she disappeared, all three dogs running after her, slithering on the marble tiles, I glanced around the room. It was gorgeous - twenty foot ceilings, with egg and dart coving, in one corner a baby grand; two apricot coloured knole sofas, a scattering of mahogany tables, and an enormous fireplace with a marble surround. There were gleaming oils on the walls, and on the mantelpiece several photos in silver frames, including one of Caroline on her wedding day. I looked at it, then looked away, glancing into the flower-filled garden. A solitary magpie swooped onto the lawn, chattering loudly. One for sorrow, I said to myself quietly. Then I looked at the photo again
There was something strangely familiar about Caroline Mulhollands husband, but I couldnt for the life of me think why. He looked mid-to-late thirties in the photo, and his hair was receding and already quite grey. But he was certainly handsome - they made a good-looking couple; I found myself wondering what he did. No doubt he was a successful banker, or a captain of industry perhaps Id seen him on the news. Yes
. that must account for my sense of déjà vu I thought: Id seen him in the media somewhere. Caroline reappeared with a tray, then suggested that we had the tea outside so that I could see Trigger in action. But Id already identified the problem - he was an over-indulged alpha male. He felt he should naturally be number one in the pack. He needed to have his status reduced.
Hes desperate to dominate, I explained as we sat on the terrace, watching him with the other two dogs. She put her tea cup down.
Is he?
Yes. This might sound harsh, but he what he needs is to be knocked off his pedestal.
Really? I nodded. But how?
By taking far less notice of him. Hes a chronic show-off - if hes got your attention hes thrilled. And the more you shout at him the more he likes it because then he knows youre focussed on him. Youre actually rewarding his bad behaviour by reacting to it.
I am?
Yes youre inadvertently indulging him.
Oh. I see.
Every time you shout at him, he actually thinks youre praising him, so thats going to make him worse.
I see, she said again thoughtfully.
I dont like to anthropomorphise animals, I went on. But lets put it this way. If Trigger was human, hed be driving round in a red BMW which youd probably bought him for his birthday - barging people off the road, ogling girls out of the window, then going to some party and getting horribly drunk.
How awful, she said, with mock seriousness. Like some silly It boy.
Exactly.
Hed embarrass us, she said, playing along. Hed bring disgrace on the family, she added gravely. Hed be getting into fights.
Im afraid he would. Hed be kicked out of school, hed struggle to hold down a job and - I dont want to alarm you he might even take drugs.
Really? She looked genuinely stricken. Well, she added purposefully, as Trigger bounded joyfully about, barking his head off, weve got to nip this in the bud.
And we will. I wont be able to cure him today, I pointed out. But I can show you how youre accidentally reinforcing his negative behaviours, then youll be able to work with him on your own. But youll need to be committed. She looked at me seriously.
Okay. Tell me what to do.
I explained that the best punishment for Trigger was not to be yelled at but to be totally ignored.
Dogs cant stand it, I explained. Its the worst punishment in the world for them to be denied their humans undivided attention but thats what youve got to do. And if he behaves really badly say if he bites one of the other dogs - then he has to have some time out. Because if hes tethered and the other two are free, thatll really take him down a few pegs.
I see. Trigger suddenly snapped at one of the Westies, then pinioned it to the ground.
Oh you beast! Caroline had rushed up to him and grabbed him by the collar.
No, dont say anything, I said. Simply tie him up somewhere.
Tie him up?
Yes. I know it sounds unkind, but its not. So she got his lead and tethered him to the gatepost, in the shade, with a bowl of water.
Now well leave him there while we stroll around with the other dogs, off the lead. He wont be able to stand it. By the time we untied him five minutes later Trigger was shaking and trembling.
Look how his body language has changed, I said. He cant understand why you did that to him. He found it incredibly humiliating. Hes upset and subdued. Look - hes really grovelling. He was. He was practically sitting on Carolines feet, looking up at her imploringly, whimpering softly.
Wow, she breathed. I see what you mean.
If you really want his behaviour to improve, then youve got to make him feel less secure. Basically, hes a bully, I said, and like most bullies hes a coward, so if youre firm youll put him in his place. Hes got to have his desired position as top dog taken away, I reiterated. She nodded.
I just didnt realise all this, because Ive never had a difficult dog before.
Well does it make sense to you?
Yes. She seemed surprised. It does.
What you need to do is to carry out a dominance reduction programme, both outside, and inside the house. As we went in again I reminded her that dogs are pack animals, and need to know their place in the hierarchy otherwise they feel unhappy and confused. Theyre like young children, I went on. Children are happier when theyre given firm boundaries and thats what youve got to do with him. So you mustnt let him sit on the sofa, I added, or get on the bed - otherwise that means hes at your own height. Dont let him go through doors before you, and make him wait until youve eaten before he gets fed. In fact, feed the other dogs first.
Really?
Yes. Show him that his status is not as high as hed like to think it is.
And how long will it take for him to learn?
Well, hes very intelligent, so maybe just a few weeks. But youll have to stick to it religiously, I said as we returned to the drawing room. I know you love him, but making him learn how to behave well is actually the kind thing to do. And if hes aggressive to the other dogs, then tether him for a few minutes; hell gradually make the association and stop.
I feel so much better now, Caroline breathed as she scribbled down notes. Youve explained it all very well. Now, I must pay you. As she went in search of her handbag I gazed again at her wedding photo. I hadnt seen her husband on the TV. Id met him. Definitely... There was no question. But where? Suddenly the phone rang, and I heard Caroline pick up.
Oh that is disappointing, I heard her say. The hall was so large, her voice echoed. Well, dont worry I quite understand. I dont know who else Ill find at such short notice, but if thats the situation it cant be helped. Thanks for letting me know, she concluded, regretfully. I heard her footsteps, then she reappeared, looking thoughtful.
Thats a nuisance, she said. Weve got the village fete here on Saturday in aid of the PDSA. Were having a dog show as part of it and Trinny and Susannah had agreed to judge it it includes a fancy dress competition - but Trinnys just phoned to say that theyre now filming that day and cant. What a drag, she groaned as she got out her cheque book and began to write. Its going to be very hard to find anyone else and Im so busy as it is and-. Her pen had stopped and she suddenly looked at me. I dont suppose youd do it, would you?
Me?
Yes.
But Im not a celebrity.
Well, Daisy told me that youve been on TV. And as an animal behaviourist youd have tremendous authority, plus, quite frankly, she grimaced dont take this the wrong way, but Im desperate. Would you? she pleaded.
Well
I just dont have time to ring round with everything else Ive go to do, and in any case I know youd be brilliant, Miranda, and its in such a good cause. That was true. Id be so thrilled if you said yes, she added. Why not? I thought.
What would you need me to do?
Judge three of the four different categories. Were going to have the Waggiest Tail, the Dog Most Like Its Owner, the Fancy Dress competition, and finally, Canine Karaoke
She handed me the cheque.
Canine Karaoke?
Yes, its a total scream. Literally, she added with a meaningful grimace. I smiled.
All right then, I said. Why not? But can I bring my Dachshund?
Of course. Oh thank you so much! She exhaled, smiled broadly, then clapped her left hand to her chest. Thats such a relief. It kicks off at two-thirty and were expecting a big crowd so if you could come half an hour before that would be great.
Okay, I stood up. Well, Id better get going. And Id just picked up my bag when I heard the crunch of wheels on the drive.
Oh theres my husband. He said hed be back early. Do come and meet him.
As we walked down the steps a dark blue Jaguar pulled up next to my old Astra, then Carolines husband got out. Trigger and the two other dogs raced up to him, firing off a volley of excited barks. He bent down to stroke them, then straightened up. And as he did so, then walked towards us, I realised why it was that hed looked so familiar. I felt as though Id been pushed off a cliff.
Hello darling, he said to Caroline, kissing her, as he glanced obliquely at me.
James, this is Miranda Sweet. Now he looked at me directly, with nothing more than polite curiosity, his face a pleasant, inscrutable mask. But in his grey eyes, unmistakably, was a spark of recognition. In that instant sixteen years fell away.
Mirandas just worked wonders with Trigger, I heard Caroline say warmly. Now dont blush, she laughed. Its a fact. My face was aflame; but not out of modesty. Thanks to Miranda, I now know how to stop his bad behaviour, darling.
Really? he said. Well, thats
great.
Hes got a dominance problem apparently, she said with a giggle.
Has he now?
Hes got to have his status reduced.
I see.
Weve got to make him feel less secure.
Is that so?
No more being top dog.
Uh huh.
Well
Ive got
another appointment to get to, I lied, my heart banging so loudly I was afraid they could hear it. Id better be on my way.
Thank you so much for coming out, Miranda said as I fumbled in my bag for my keys. So well see you on Saturday, then? I felt my insides twist. Mirandas going to judge the dog show for us, James. Shes stepped in because Trinny and Susannah from What Not To Wear had to cancel. Isnt that nice of her? Now I bitterly, bitterly regretted having agreed to do it.
Oh... Yes, he said with a thin smile. Thats great.
About two oclock then, Caroline repeated cheerily, as I got in my car. She waved at me; I gave her a feeble wave back, then, sick to my heart, I drove slowly away.
******
My hands trembled like winter leaves as they clutched the steering wheel. Jimmy. Jimmy Smith - not Jimmy Mulholland. Hed changed his name. As for his appearance he was transformed. No wonder I hadnt recognised him in the wedding photo. I could have passed him in the street and not known. The mass of blond curls and the light beard hed had at twenty-one had gone and he was now clean-shaven, receding, and grey. His frame had filled out, and the frayed jeans and jumpers had become Savile Row suits and striped shirts. Only the voice was the same: the smooth, pleasant voice, and the insolent expression in the pale granite eyes.
As I turned out of the gates, my heart still beating so erratically that I felt dizzy, I recalled Daisys words: This is the start of a new phase in your life, and I just know its going to be good. But how could it be, I thought sourly - how could it be - when Id just been ambushed by my past? And now I was oblivious to the colours of the landscape as I cast my mind back with a deep sense of shame.
It was half my lifetime ago, but it had remained seared on my mind, like a brand. I still remember every detail of that spring morning with photographic clarity, though as the years had gone by, Id thought of it less. For there was nothing I could do about it, and no-one I could tell; so Id simply suppressed it, and tried to move on. The fact that Id had to study so hard had helped in blocking out the pain - even so, it had haunted me for years and still does. And, strangely, Id been wondering about him recently, almost obsessively and now, sixteen years on, here he was. Here he was, the epitome, apparently, of affluent respectability. I laughed a bitter little laugh. As I drove through the grey terraces of North London I wondered what he did. Probably something crooked, I reasoned - how else could he have become so rich? Now I thought about his wife, and wondered whether hed ever confessed to her the awful thing that he no, we - had once done.
When I got back to the mews Herman was happy to see me I knew this because his whippety tail was wagging and he wasnt actively looking anxious. His pointy little face was in neutral gear. And as we walked up the hill, stopping for the usual friendly exchanges with other dog-owners - Ooh, look, a sausage dog! Sweet! Does he speak German? I decided what do. Id ring Caroline and tell her that I was sorry, but I wouldnt be able to help with the fete after all. I hated letting her down, not least because Id liked her, but there was now no way Id be able to go. And as I unlocked the front door, trying to work out which of my three excuses mum ill/dog ill/car problems - would sound most convincing, I saw the light flashing on the answer-phone. I pressed Play.
You have. Three. Messages, intoned the robotic female voice. First message sent. Today at. 4.45. P.M.
Hello darling! It was Mum. Just ringing for a chat. But dont ring me back as Ill be busy with the boys. Ill try you again later. Click. Whirr. The machine spooled on. Hi Miranda! My heart sank. Caroline here. I just want to thank you again, so much, for helping us out on Saturday - youve saved my bacon. But I also wanted to let you know that Ive just told two of my friends that youre doing the judging, and theyd both heard of you, from Animal Crackers. So you shouldnt be so modest you obviously are a bit of celebrity. Anyway, were all really looking forward to seeing you here on Saturday. Bye for now! Click. Damn. Hello Miss Sweet, said a male voice. Its Detective Sergeant Cooper here. Detective Sergeant? I panicked wildly for a split second, then remembered who he was and calmed down. Just to let you know well be sending you those forms I mentioned I do apologise for the delay but you should get them by the end of the week. Oh. Right. The forms. Id completely forgotten.
This is too much, I muttered to Herman as I opened the back door and let the early evening sunlight flood the kitchen. Ive enough pain without this. I sat down, and breathed very deeply to calm myself, but this only gave me a sharp twinge in my rib. Then I went to my computer, and typed James Mulholland into Google. A whole slew of entries came up.
Welcome to James Mulhollands Website, I read. James Mulholland has been M.P. for Billington since May 1997
Good God - he was an M.P.! I felt as though Id been struck by lightning. Links | Fighting for Billington | Billington Labour Party | News | James Mulholland was born in 1965 and was educated at Walton Comprehensive, Peterborough
I opened the site, heart racing there was a photo of Jimmy, smiling smoothly. Click here to find out the latest on James Mulholland. I clicked again.
James Mulholland has been MP for Billington since 1997. During the 1997-2001 Parliament he was a member of the European Security Committee and the Foreign Affairs Committee. He is now Minister of State for Education (Lifelong Learning). Christ, he was a Junior Minister! My eyes skimmed down the page. Before going into politics James was a local radio producer and reporter
So thats what hed done. He was educated at Walton Comprehensive, Peterborough and Sussex University
where he took a First in Natural Sciences. In real life, I read on, James enjoys walking in the Hertfordshire countryside, and relaxing at home with his wife, Caroline, and their three dogs.
But where did the amazing house come from? Hed been a journalist, not a banker, and M.P.s arent loaded. I scrolled through the other entries mostly promotional guff - then clicked on the Guardian Unlimited Site. There was an anonymous profile. Entitled His Masters Voice, it wasnt exactly flattering.
Son of an insurance salesman ...early years provide little evidence of his later ambition
Walton Comprehensive, Peterborough
Sussex university
1987 joined Radio York
in 1993 he interviewed Jack Straw
so impressed, he invited him to be his parliamentary researcher
quickly rose through the ranks. At 37 Mulholland is on the fast track
good looks, charm, communication skills
on message
journey from radical left to centre right. 1993, PPS to Geoff Hoon, then selected to fight the safe seat of Billington in Lancashire
In the summer of 2000 married the Hon. Caroline Horbury heir to the Horbury property fortune... Ah.
frequently entertain at their grand country pile
smart townhouse in Billington
elegant apartment in Westminster
he now puts her money where his mouth is
So that explained Little Gateley Manor. He hadnt made money hed married it. It all made sense. As for the journey from radical left to centre right that fitted too. I remembered again the Jimmy Id known, and tried to square it with the suave pillar-of-the-establishment-exterior Id encountered today. I remembered too how charismatic Id found him, and, ironically, how principled. Thats what had drawn me to him his passionate beliefs. How misguided I was, I thought bitterly. What a dupe. And though I was only sixteen, and he was five years older, I was, at best, culpably naïve. Now I wondered whether hed ever felt the slightest pang of conscience about the terrible thing that hed done.
Id always known that hed escaped prosecution, because if hed been arrested he would have named me. I remembered his voice on that awful March morning, as Id stood in his flat, hyperventilating from exertion Id run all the way and from shock.
Ive just
found out, I gasped. Ive just found out. I could feel my face twisting with rage. I overheard someone talking about it at the bus stop. How could you!! I croaked, my throat aching. How could you! You... you
hypocrite. I burst into tears. He folded his arms, then turned and looked out of the window onto the street below. I could see a muscle in his jaw tense and flex.
I should keep quiet if I were you, he said. I was amazed at his self-possession.
Keep quiet? I wept. Keep quiet? I was crying so much that my ears hurt. No. I wont bloody well keep quiet! Im going to tell everyone what you did! He turned and faced me.
No, Miranda. What you did. It was you after all. Wasnt it? he said quietly.
No. It wasnt - because I didnt know. He gave me an indolent smile.
The police wont care about a detail like that. In any case theyve already got your number, Miranda. Havent they? After your trip to the butchers a few months ago. And then there was your little adventure at the fur coat shop. They wont believe you. Will they? I felt sick. In any case, he went on smoothly. If you name me, Ill tell them that you did know. Ill say we did it together. So I really do suggest thats in both our interests for you to keep your sweet little trap firmly shut. Unless you want to go to Holloway, of course.
It was as though Id been plunged into a bath of ice water, and I saw, with dreadful clarity, that he was right. So I did keep quiet - for sixteen years to my shame, and never saw him again. Until today
I lay on my bed for more than hour - Herman lying beside me, like a tiny bolster - just staring through the skylight as the hot blue of the evening sky turned pink, then mauve, now deepening to liquid indigo, and some kind of plan began to form in my mind. I would go to Little Gateley this Saturday and Id find some opportunity to speak to Jimmy alone. Id quietly confront him and Id get him to acknowledge me, and to admit at last - that hed done something so wrong. And Id make him apologise to me, for what he did - because hed damaged a part of my youth. God knows what other, physical damage hed caused, I thought bitterly. Id never been brave enough to find out. And now, Alexander quite driven from my mind, I went to sleep, dreaming of fire.
******
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